Are you struggling with acclimating yourself to your newfound singlehood? Or is being on your own for a while taking a toll on your sense of self-worth? Read on below to find out how you can be a confident, single woman in these times.
How To Be A Confident Single Woman
When you have gone from one relationship to another most of your adult life, finding yourself suddenly single can be pretty daunting. It is unfamiliar territory, and understandably, your mind may be confused as to how to handle it.
Now that you are not committed to another person, what changes is life going to bring? Who will go to the movies with you? Do you have to try out that new Italian restaurant near work on your own now?
Whether you have just come out of a relationship, or have been single for years – it does not matter. Either way, there will be times when you will find yourself at a loss as to how to deal with being on your own. And though it can feel freeing at times, other times can have you questioning your own self worth.
How To Deal With Being Single While Maintaining Your Confidence?
So, how can you enjoy this period of solitude while being classy? How does one combat with the disturbing thoughts that pop up in your head anytime you see something to do with your ex? How can you truly move on, and have fun being a confident single woman?
To be honest, I am no stranger to relationships. I have loved many times since I first started dating, and I have had my fair share of heartbreaks too. I have had periods of total bliss with a lovely partner, and I have had long, dry spells of being alone.
All this personal experience has taught me how to remain self assured and poised regardless of my current relationship status. In the following paragraphs, I will share my tips and tricks of ensuring this when I am flying solo.
#IChoose to accept the facts as they are
Whenever I find myself having just ended a relationship, #IChoose to take a moment and consciously assess the facts, instead of lying to others – or even myself – I own the fact that I am now single. I own the fact that it is a choice I decided to make. Nothing more and nothing less. All that has changed about me from a few moments ago is that I am not committed to anyone for now. And that little fact should not affect whatsoever on what I deserve.
#IChoose to understand that I do not owe a relationship to anybody
Ever since we are little girls, everyone is always telling us how marriage is one of the biggest goals of our lives – if not the most important one. We are expected to daydream of the perfect boyfriend, look at engagement rings, and plan the perfect wedding. And if our ring fingers are still bare past a certain age, then we have somehow failed our womanhood.
#IChoose to reject this archaic belief. I understand that there is nobody that I owe a relationship to. If I want to be on my own, I do not have to feel guilty about it. Reassuring myself of these facts when I need to gives me a huge confidence boost.
#IChoose to not ‘settle’ for less
While I wholeheartedly believe that being with someone should be a choice and not an obligation, sometimes fighting the society can get a bit tiring. When my friends are always talking about how happy they are with their partners; sometimes I too begin to think that happiness lies in a relationship. And the fact that these friends are persistently trying to set me up with people they know is not much help either.
However, even in these times, I make sure I am not settling for anything less than I deserve just to appease my friends and society. Starting a relationship with someone, you cannot see yourself spending your life with leads to nothing but heartbreak.
I manage to forego this unpleasant, painful experience by maintaining my standards.
#IChoose to work towards achieving my life goals
When you are on your own, it is the perfect time to reflect and see what you want from life. Being single frees you from a lot of responsibility and expectations, and gives you the ideal opportunity to focus on yourself. #IChoose to use this time by working towards achieving my life goals.
Not only does this serve as a distraction from lonely thoughts, but it also allows me to channel all my energy into productive things. I know that I will emerge from this period a better, more successful person. And this is all the encouragement I need to not give in to negative thoughts.
#IChoose to make sure my other relationships are thriving
When you are involved with someone romantically, a lot of your other relationships tend to take a backseat. Absorbed in your bliss, you fail to see how your connections with your friends and family are suffering. You might be excusing yourself from a girls’ night out because you and your partner decided to go camping. You might end up watching the new The Fast and The Furious movie with your significant other rather than your best friend, like you always used to do.
However, when you do not have a romantic partner to appease, you will find yourself with a lot more time to hang out with your single friends. I see my solo state as another chance to reconnect with those I care about.
#IChoose to understand being single is not a fault
Feeling sorry for oneself is pretty standard when you are single after a long time. Having no practice at living life solo, you might think that you are a loser. Sometimes, you might even start to blame yourself for your relationship ending and might end up feeling nobody wants you. Thoughts of something being wrong with you may begin to take over the mind.
When you find yourself going down that road, stop right away! Remember, feeling unwanted and undesirable is not going to help your confidence in any way. In fact, these thoughts will shatter it even further, and you might end up settling for less. That is clearly something we do not want.
I deal with this by short messages of positivity to myself. Positive affirmations are great at building up your confidence. Instead of giving in to my personal insecurities, #IChoose to consciously fight them off.
#IChoose to face and fight off my fears
Being single can really take a toll on some people – and especially so when it has been a while. People will try to convince you that you are unhappy. They will say that you will never find anybody to love again unless you jump back into the pool right away. You will be left all alone, and you will never know the happiness of a family of your own. You are a half who will never experience being a whole.
However, it would help if you did not believe these outrageous statements at any time. The truth is, even the longest dry spells end when the right person walks in. Accept that you are single, but know that it is not forever (unless, of course, you want it to be!). Enjoy your time being on your own, and only begin dating once you are truly ready to. As they say, there is a lot of fish in the sea.
#IChoose to not hoard on to the past
Being too hung up on your ex-lover is the worst thing that you can do for your self-respect and confidence. After a relationship has ended, you must learn to let it go and move on. Once you can stop yourself from living in the past, you will truly flourish as a confident, single woman.
So, if you have been stalking your ex on social media to know what they are up to, it is time for you to stop. Keep yourself away from everything that pushes you back into the past. It is okay to grieve a past relationship, but it is never okay to hold onto it for the rest of your life.
Wrapping it up
In your adult life, you are bound to experience being single every once in a while. While this time is quite hard on some women, others seem to rock it like anything—the difference between the two arises from how you choose to respond to it.
What’s the point of being single if you can’t have some fun?! Now that you are finally on your own, you can honestly figure out what the world has to offer. Take full advantage of your availability in these free times!
Do you want to flourish during your single life? Then follow the above tips and tricks and see yourself becoming more self-assured each day!