Do you feel miserable when your partner hangs out with people other than you? Is your relationship suffering due to your unwarranted jealousy? Here are a few tips and tricks that can help you combat the green-eyed monster and save your love life and how to not be a jealous girlfriend.
How To Not Be A Jealous Girlfriend?
Every relationship has ups and downs of its own. And a little tinge of occasional jealousy is only normal in a love affair. Having had a considerable number of romantic relationships in my past (and hopefully, my future), I, too, am no stranger to the emotion. In my personal experience, I would describe it as natural, instinctual, and inevitable.
Some relationship experts even go as far as to call it healthy – for why would one be jealous if they did not care? In this way, feeling jealous in a relationship is not all bad.
However, there is a very thin line between this healthy jealousy and the kind of resentment that destroys a relationship. When a person in a relationship starts to get excessively jealous, the same emotion becomes hugely detrimental. Slowly but surely, it starts to consume the entire relationship.
This one feeling can take you from being a happy couple to two individuals who cannot stand each other. Also, being the stereotypical jealous girlfriend has never been a good look anyway! And for this reason, #IChoose to never give in to baseless suspicion when it comes to the affairs of the heart.
If you are somebody who tends to feel everything a little too much, the chances are that the same applies to jealousy. The more you love and care for someone, the more you have to lose. And so, jealousy is only a natural outcome of your fears. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t move past it. If you want your relationship to flourish, this is one thing that you have got to control.
So, how can you stop yourself from being a jealous girlfriend? As much as we wish for it, there is no off switch for jealousy. You cannot simply wake up one day and decide you will no longer be jealous. To nip the negative emotion at the bud, you need to make some serious efforts. Here are a few ways #IChoose to fight the spite.
#iChoose To Understand Where It Is All Coming From
For every emotion, be it negative or positive, is an underlying source. For jealousy in a relationship, this source is most likely our own insecurities about ourselves. A lot of us give ourselves less credit than what we are due, and this can lead to us feeling not enough.
Hence, exploring and investigating our insecurities can give us a pretty good idea of why we are jealous in the first place. Once you know the cause, you can then work on it to stop feeling this way. Addressing our self-doubts is the first step to not being a jealous girlfriend.
#iChoose To Be Honest With My Partner About It
Whenever I feel envious and resentful towards my partner, I make it a point not to keep it a secret. Harbouring ill feelings for a loved one while they are oblivious to them does nothing but weaken your bond. Instead of denying those negative emotions and pretending they do not exist at all, #IChoose to be honest with my partner about them.
By letting my partner know that their actions make me anxious and distrustful, I look to us solving the problem as a team. This way, my partner can give me the attention that I crave from them and put a rest to all my insecurities.
#iChoose To Step Back And Give My Partner The Space They Need
While demanding for extra attention is a great way to curb those feelings of jealousy, sometimes you need to do the exact opposite. Sometimes you need to step back and allow breathing room for your partner instead of indulging in your negative emotions and trying to cling to them.
So, while I acknowledge my jealousy wholeheartedly, #IChoose to not let it control my actions. Instead of giving in to envy, I make a conscious decision to ensure my significant other has all the space that they need. Trust me, this tactic has saved my relationship from sinking several times!
#iChoose To Not Indulge The Negative Feeling Whenever I Feel It Coming
Another conscious decision that you can make in case of jealousy is to remind yourself not to indulge. Whenever the feeling strikes, tell yourself that this is simply not you and refuse to give in. Your sheer willpower is a great weapon to fight off nasty feelings for your partner.
An effective way to do this is to distract yourself whenever you sense the jealousy approaching. Wear a ring to fidget with when you feel the need to lash out. Tie a rubber band around your wrist that you can use to literally ‘snap’ yourself out of the emotion. Toy with a strand of your hair when you feel overly possessive of your boyfriend. Or find your very own method of consciously keeping yourself away from unjustified bitterness.
#iChoose To Talk It Out For A Broader Perspective
Jealousy is a pretty strong emotion, and sometimes it can be all-consuming. An overly jealous person is often way too emotional to grasp the full reality of the situation. This might blind them to the actual facts, and fuel their grievances even further – even when they are not warranted at all!
So, how can you make sure that you are not getting upset over anything? #IChoose to do this by talking it out with a trusted friend. By retelling the entire story, I not only get to hear the facts for myself again but also gain an outside opinion. An honest and unbiased friend can help put things in perspective for you when you are simply too overcharged to do so for yourself.
And if talking about your private issues to a third person seems too much, you could always keep a journal! While you will not be getting another person’s opinion this way, writing the story down will also offer you the same ability to see things from a broader perspective.
#iChoose To Consider How My Jealousy Has Been Affecting Me
Like we discussed before, too much jealousy can deteriorate a relationship faster than you can say “help”. Unwarranted jealousy has tons of negative impacts on your relationship and your person. If only you could see the full capacity to how this negative emotion destroys everything, you would be four times as wary of it.
This is why #IChoose to make a list of all the ways my jealousy affects me. When I fully see how ugly it has made my life, it helps me stay away from it much better.
#iChoose To Let The Past Stay In The Past
Sometimes, people’s jealousy is based on their inability to trust a person. When a person has had an ex-lover cheat on them before, even the smallest things with their current partner tend to evoke a strong suspicion. This is why it is so important to let the past stay in the past.
If, like me, you can relate to such a situation, you need to work on your trust issues. Tell yourself that the person you are with is not the person who had decided to cheat on you. Do not allow your past relationship to impact your current one negatively.
#iChoose To Channel My Energy To A More Worthwhile Cause
While I try my best to not feel groundlessly jealous in a relationship, sometimes the green-eyed monster is impossible to slay. So, what can you do when you feel all of these negative things that you know will destroy your relationship?
One smart solution to the problem is to channel this energy to a more worthwhile cause. Instead of picking a baseless and unnecessary fight with your significant other, take your emotions to the gym and work them out. Indulge in an activity that both distracts you and uses up all this pent up energy until it is all gone. What a win-win situation for you!
#iChoose To Not Dismiss My Jealousy When It Is Valid
So far, we have been talking about how bad unjustified and unwarranted jealousy can be. But what should you do when your envy is perfectly accounted for? Should you still strive not to be the stereotypical jealous girlfriend? Or should you do something about it?
The Final Word
If your jealousy really is valid, turning a blind eye to it is an unfair and foolish act. If you have real cause to be envious, you should not be sweeping your emotions under the rug or denying that they do not exist. In fact, in this case, you should be taking it up with your partner and holding him accountable for their actions. Remember, never let anyone take you for granted! Go here for more great blogs.
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