Deconstructing the Proper Role Model Myth
Patricia Love

The “Proper Role Model” Myth is a dangerous and unfounded narrative about what women should be. It’s high time for a deconstruction. Enter, Patricia Love. I’m on a mission to make being unapologetically yourself the new definition of self-confidence.

Deconstructing the Proper Role Model Myth

We have all heard the phrase “proper role models,” and we often use this to make judgments about ourselves or those around us. But what does it actually mean to be a proper role model? Who gets to decide how one should act, dress and present themselves in public?

The idea of a proper role model is more harmful than helpful when you consider how it influences our entire view of self-worth and identity.

In this blog post, let’s examine the phenomenon that has been popularized as the “proper role model” label with an open mind — weighing both its constructive purpose as well as its potentially damaging aspects — enabling us to shift away from traditional views on roles & expectations placed upon women today.

Identify The Mindset

Having a “role model” as a framework for creating your life can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it provides parameters and ideas to build off, but on the other, it can be constricting if those role models don’t reflect our unique lived experiences.

For women in particular, this can spell limiting social expectations, leaving us feeling boxed in when we should be soaring sky high. The answer? Let’s take the conversation bigger: Embrace yourself and break through the boundaries of pre-constructed societal roles.

It’s time to get creative with our level of success and define it as you see fit because only you know what works best for you!

Get Real With Yourself

Women are expected to be proper role models, but what does that even mean? I often find myself wondering if it’s even a legitimate role to play or if it’s the internalization of outdated social beliefs.

What I do know is that by getting real with ourselves and owning up to who we really are, we can reconstruct this myth and break free from archaic notions of femininity.

Identify your superpower, don’t apologize for mistakes you make, speak your mind – whatever it takes to bring yourself closer to authenticity and help you unlearn all the rules society has set for us gals. Believe me – you’ll discover something new about yourself in the process that turns out to be quite liberating!

Don’t Treat Your Role Models Like Stone Cold Statues

It’s time to bust out of the “Proper Role Model” myth and free ourselves from its restrictive boundaries. It’s okay to idolize the achievements of strong women but don’t freeze them in time like stone-cold statues! Women have a unique range of changes and abilities throughout their lifetime based on different circumstances, so make room for those nuances.

Let’s celebrate the extraordinary success stories of women without juxtaposing it onto our own lives as a measure of worth or accomplishment. We can shift our perspective from one of comparison to genuine admiration instead- because there is no “One Size Fits” all approach when trying to live life!

Be Vulnerable And Share Your Feelings

It’s time for us ladies to stop playing the role of a perfect housewife, always ready to make dinner for the family and clean up. That “proper role model” myth is a thing of the past; let’s be vulnerable and show our true selves – flaws included – to loved ones.

We all need somebody to talk to when we feel down; sharing your feelings lightens your mental load in an instant! Seeking support from friends and family isn’t just useful – it can also spark playful conversations about our quirks, creating moments of laughter amidst hardship.

Remember, being part of a supportive community doesn’t make you any less strong or independent. It just makes life that much more enjoyable!

Use Your Voice

Ladies, it’s time for us to break down the old-school notion of what constitutes a “proper woman”. Let’s deconstruct this myth and start challenging the status quo. Take ownership of who you are and your idiosyncrasies – shouting from the rooftops that being neat and tidy, sophisticated, in control, and reserved with perfect manners does not make a woman great.

Here’s your chance to let those wild ideas fly and stick out those elbows! Most importantly, remember to give yourself some leeway – it’s okay if it ain’t perfect! Don’t be hard on yourself or others just because they don’t fit into a generic idea of what is thought to be proper.

The real issue is finding worth in who we are without judgment; each one of us is unique, so let our individual versions of a properly role-modeled woman shine.

Recognize How You Are Putting Other Women Down – Stop It!

Women are often expected to be the “ideal,” perfect role models, both at home and in the workplace, but these expectations can create unrealistic standards that no one can live up to. By trying to fit this “one size fits all” model for success, women are also domino effecting each other down – conforming instead of supporting each other’s successes and experiences.

We should strive to stop perpetuating the myth that there is ONE way to achieve success, because in reality there are so many paths that lead to a range of fulfilled lives.

Let’s make an effort to recognize our own bias when it shows up and cultivate support instead of competitive comparison. It’s time for us ladies to put away antiquated beliefs and start celebrating our different strengths – it’s time to unite!

Let Go Of The Lie That Perfection Equals Value

It’s time for women to let go of the lie that perfection equals value and start breaking down the idea there is an unrealistic advice-column version of what a proper female role model should be.

Perfection is subjective, which means it doesn’t translate across societies largely defined by media messaging. It’s valuable to feel empowered by unknown possibilities, so who says the path to success must follow a neat script?

Letting go of perfectionism means scrubbing away at outdated layers of stress, guilt, and expectations until all that’s left behind are self-defined principles that don’t have anything to do with demonstrating good behavior or making sure society approves.

In other words: when it comes to embracing who you truly are and taking on impactful roles in this world, ignore the “proper” part and revel in being authentically you!

Keep Learning, Growing, And Evolving

Women have always been told they are supposed to be perfect role models, but it’s time to deconstruct that myth. Instead of feeling pressured to maintain a certain standard, women should focus on their own goals and strive for personal growth and development.

Constant learning is the key to keeping our lives interesting and dynamic, so let’s break the mold by embracing our mistakes, avoiding stagnation, and evolving throughout our lives. Only then can we realize our full potential and take control of creating the future we want for ourselves.

The idea that a woman needs to be a proper role model is an outdated notion. We cannot conform to just one “perfect” version of success, rather we need to celebrate the diversity within our lives and experiences.

Perfection Is Not Needed

Women should not strive for perfection but for individuality and authenticity. By embracing our own unique paths, we can become powerful forces for positive change in the world.

Let’s shatter this myth by accepting all versions of achievement, lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down, and allowing ourselves to choose what success looks like on our own terms.

You have permission to rise above so-called standards—the world will always be big enough for us all!

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Patricia Love

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Reclaim the power and confidence that will propel your life by booking a 1 on1 Call with me. Get on my coaching waitlist. My “Exclusive Diamond Method” will “Recession Proof” Top Producing Women In Real Estate by eliminating self-doubt in your business and personal life, for good


As an active Realtor®, and in sales for 45 years in Washington State, Patricia coaches women in sales to “Refuel” by turning their “I Can’t” into “I Can.” She interrupts the negative behaviors that have sabotaged them and helps them create a new path towards positive results. Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”

Patricia’s own story of trauma, death, and a slew of bad decisions as a young adult, forced her to flip her own inner script, or face alternative consequences. By interrupting and healing the negative behaviors that sabotaged her, she was able to find the courage, and new found energy to move forward in all areas of her life. She did this with the action of five words.

These inspiring words created her Exclusive Diamond Method”, as Patricia believes we are all a diamond in the rough, just waiting to shine! So, begin the healing, and shine bright like a diamond.

Contact Patricia to start the new life so you too, will shine!

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