Are You Banging Your Head Against The Wall
Ever felt like banging your head on a wall mid-conversation with your man? Feel like you are both speaking different languages at times? Read on to discover How To Effectively Communicate In A Relationship With A Man.
How To Effectively Communicate In A Relationship With A Man
Relationships are hard work. Even if it seems super easy and wonderful, I can guarantee that there will be bumps up ahead. And there’s no need to worry endlessly about that too! A healthy amount of arguments and disagreements are simply a normal part of two people being together!
But sometimes, it can feel like it is just not working. For some couples, it is a phase that they manage to get through together still. For others, it is merely a sign that the relationship has lived its life, and it is time to part ways. It is only the two people involved that can rightly tell which direction their ship is going.
Communication Is Key To Any Healthy, Long Term Relationship
However, in my personal experience, I have always felt that there is only one thing that sees a couple of Swifty through a difficult time. Yes, I am talking about open, honest, raw communication.
In my experience, I have noticed that a wide variety of problems can be resolved by simply talking them over with your partner. It can tell you if there are actions that you can take to make your situation better, or even let you know when it is time to say goodbye.
But that, my dear readers, is often easier said than done. I have met many women – and men – who find it difficult getting their point across to their significant other. And more often than not, these considerable others happen to be male!
Poor Communication In A Relationship Is Not A Unique Problem
Numerous women have said to me, “He just does not get it.” “Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall.” “I could be as direct as possible, and he will ask me what I mean.” And honestly, I get it.
Communicating with men is not the same as talking to your best girlfriend. They often miss important things, they suck at picking up hints, and they never have the right reaction to your office drama! (“Oh wow” is not the correct response when you tell him how difficult your boss has been recently!)
You might often think that you are the only one who is bothered by this, but this is most often not true. Not being on the same page can be incredibly frustrating for both parties in a relationship. It can lead to unnecessary problems that nobody wants.
So, What Is The Solution?
For this reason, I have decided to put together this blog article. In the next few paragraphs, I will discuss my trusted tips and tricks on how to communicate effectively with a man in a relationship.
Please note I am in no way saying that it is your fault that your partner has not understood what you have been trying to say! On the contrary, I am only listing down a few things that have worked for me in the past at getting through to the men I date. Let’s begin.
#IChoose to understand that men and women are different when it comes to communicating
The best thing you can do to ensure smooth communication between yourself and your partner is by accepting the facts first. Once you have got these down, it becomes that much easier to make them work in your favor.
Ever wondered how you can just not talk to the man in your life like you can to Jane from the gym? One big reason for this is because men and women are wired differently when it comes to communicating.
As we will discuss more in the subsequent paragraphs, male brains function significantly differently from female functions when they are talking to another person. This is why you might feel that you have to put in extra effort to get through to a man.
#IChoose to ensure that I have his undivided attention
Unlike women, men suck at multitasking. This is not something that I am just claiming from personal experience. In fact, this one little truth has its basis in elaborate scientific studies. The male brain can only have limited areas operating at optimum at a time.
Hence, it is always a bad idea to talk about something important when your male partner is driving, watching his favorite show with you, or doing anything else that requires focus.
A smart way to communicate with men is to make sure that they are not distracted. Choose the right time to bring up an important subject. Turn off the TV before you get to it. This will help them understand your point much better and build your relationship stronger.
#IChoose to emphasize on the importance of what I am about to say
Many women complain that their significant others listen to what they have to say, but do not take it seriously. For them, this little tip can work wonders.
Whenever you have something important to say, make the importance of the subject known. Tell your partner that you want him to be attentive and serious. Let it be known that what you are about to talk about really matters to you.
#IChoose to cut the polite subtlety
Women are usually very conscious of hurting somebody’s feelings. For this reason, they often tend to sandwich bad news or a bad comment between pleasantries. Ever since we were little girls, we have been taught to soften the blow by wrapping it in positive feedback. After all, that’s the polite thing to do, right?
Well, that may be true; it certainly hasn’t helped us communicate better with our partners. Sometimes, you have to forsake the polite subtlety for clarity, and that is entirely okay.
Sometimes, your partner will not get that while you appreciate the sentiment, him showing up at your workplace with flowers makes you look unprofessional. In this case, cut the polite subtlety and tell him so. I am sure he will come to appreciate your directness and honesty.
#IChoose to not start off frustrated
Yet another big perpetrator for the communication gap between two parties in a relationship is starting off frustrated. It is easy to understand that one party can get pretty worked up if the other party is constantly missing the point. However, this annoyance does you no favors when you want to communicate effectively.
This is why I always try to calm myself down before I initiate a conversation with my partner. This allows me to gather my thoughts and arrange them. I have noticed that doing this dramatically helps me achieve what I want to achieve, and both the parties exit the conversation happily.
#IChoose to focus on the issue at hand
Trust me, I know how tempting it can be to bring up the past to make your argument stronger in front of your partner. However, doing so majorly derails the conversation and leads to you fighting incessantly about something that happened long ago.
When you want to resolve an urgent problem, you should remain focused on the issue at hand. Digressing from the point will have you ending up with no solution and a bitter taste in your mouth.
#IChoose to make it a two-way conversation instead of a monologue
Personally, I always enjoy it much more when my partner is an active participant in the conversation we have been having. Whenever we talk, I make it a point to ensure that he is getting a chance to weigh in on the situation too!
Take a moment to assess if you are talking to your partner or talking TO him. Do not let what is supposed to be a two-way conversation spin into a monologue. An engaging conversation where both the parties get to voice their opinions makes for effective communication. What’s more, is that making sure of this also helps you ensure that he has been paying attention!
#IChoose to have a face to face conversation
Last but not least, I almost always prefer a face to face personal conversation over texting. Especially so if the subject at hand is particularly important. This is because text messages often fail to convey the tone of the message, leading to some severe misunderstandings!
The tone and facial expressions can help a person understand the point to a much greater degree. Needless to say, this is not achieved when communicating from behind a screen. Taking time out to discuss essential issues face to face can go a long way toward effective communication.
The Final Word
Have you been having trouble with you man when it comes to making him understand your point? Try giving the above tips a chance! Maybe all you have been missing all this while was a little perspective!
Remember that communication is the key!