Dealing with narcissists can be exceptionally challenging. After all, what do you say to a person who does not stop talking about themselves? If you are feeling at your wit’s end when confronting a narcissist, you need to read this piece below, How To Take Back Your Power From A Narcissist, and find out the best ways to handle the situation.
How To Take Back Your Power From A Narcissist?
Sometimes, we get stuck with people in our life that bring us down. They are too difficult to have a normal conversation with, blame you for everything that was their fault, and cannot stop praising themselves for anything. These selfish narcissists think of nobody else but their own selves, and if God forbid you are stuck with one, you are very likely to lose any tiny amount of control that you have.
I have come across a fair share of people like these in my own personal life. I have been in the challenging positions these people put others in, and I have felt my sanity slipping by bit by bit while living with them. However, they did teach me how to combat these tricky situations in the future. And in today’s blogs, I will be sharing this hard-earned knowledge with you! But before we can learn how to take back your power from a narcissist, let’s first see how to identify one.
How to identify a narcissist?
So, what makes one a narcissist? If I were, to begin with, every sneaky tactic that they tend to use, I could sit here forever and compile a book! But really, who has that sort of time these days? So, we will begin with a few significant traits that can help you spot a narcissist from afar.
They always need to be appreciated
The greatest and most common characteristic of all narcissists is that they need to be continuously appreciated, all the time. They want to surround themselves with people who are likely to praise them and will drop you like a hot pan if you do not. They also like to fish for compliments unnecessarily when they are not getting the validation that they want.
They are extremely manipulative and will stop at nothing
Another good criteria for filtering through narcissists is to remember that they like to play games. They will manipulate everybody to get what they want, and there is no limit to how far they will go. They are incredibly sneaky and love to twist your words to achieve their purposes.
They will overplay their achievements
Narcissists also love to exaggerate about what they have done. They love to brag, and they will do so over the tiniest little victory as well. They will keep telling you how difficult their life has been, and how hard they have had to work to get here. If there is ever someone else who has faced the same struggles, these narcissists will refuse to admit that they are on the same level.
They will use your words against you
Last but not least, narcissists are very likely to use your own words against you. Like we discussed above, narcissists love to play games. One of their most favourite games is twisting the words of whoever they are talking to, so they can appear to be smarter, braver, funnier, and just a better person in general.
What are the best ways to deal with a narcissist?
Now that we know what traits identify a narcissist, we can get to the best ways of dealing with one. Here’s what #IChoose to do it when I suspect someone of being a colossal narcissist.
Steer clear of all narcissists
The number one rule to dealing with a narcissist is to avoid the narcissist at all costs. Trust me; these people are bad news. They will destroy all the peace you have and are a true pain in the butt to handle. Even a simple conversation with a narcissist is enough to give you a headache. Hence, whenever I spot a narcissist, #IChoose to turn around and run for my life in the other direction.
So, whenever you see the above-discussed traits of a narcissist in somebody, try your best to steer clear of them. However, that is not always possible. Sometimes, these are the people who you have to work with every day. In that case, read on below.
Do not try to change them
When you meet a narcissist, you might first think that they are not so bad. You might even think that you can change them, and have them replace their negative traits with positive ones. But know this, this is a highly impossible task.
Trying to change a narcissist is one of the worst things that you can do to your mental peace. This is because narcissists do not do the things they do out of habit. They do them because they believe in them. They operate on a different set of morals and values than what you would expect from an average person. And are you really equipped to change somebody’s entire belief system?
The next best thing to steering clear of all narcissists is to disconnect yourself as much as you can. If you cannot totally avoid a narcissist at all times, try to engage with them as little as possible. Do not just strike up a conversation with them without a purpose, or you will be just digging a hole to a problematic situation. Remember this always – narcissists do not make great friends. You are better off without them.
Steer the conversation back to the topic
But when you are working with a narcissist or living with one, you are going to have to talk to them some time or the other. Sometimes, these conversations will also transition into full-blown arguments. In this case, a narcissist will try their best to derail the conversation so they automatically ‘win the argument’. Do not let them do that.
Whenever the narcissists try to bring unrelated things up, steer the conversation back to the topic at hand. Call them out on their behaviour, and tell them this stuff is not what the argument was about. Do not let a narcissist waste your time and take away your power in a conversation.
Show no reaction to their tactics
Because narcissists are so good at playing word games, they are almost guaranteed to try to do that in an encounter. They will take your own words, twist them around to mean a completely different thing, and say that to prove their point. Do not fall for these tactics. They are only to generate a reaction from you, so they can then pretend to be the bigger person.
Whenever you are dealing with a narcissist, never show them what they are making you feel. You might feel exceptionally angry, may want to tear your hair out, or might even want to break down and cry. But if you show the narcissist that his words are getting to you, it will only cause him to do more damage. Like I said before – narcissists care about no one but their own selves.
So, if you feel that you are getting too emotional during an argument, disengage. You can even make an excuse here to get out of the situation and escape the moment. Pretend that you have just gotten an important call, or tell them that you need to use the toilet. Whatever that gives you the chance to take a minute off and recollect yourself works here.
Maintain your confidence throughout the encounter
Last but definitely not the least, never let a narcissist know that you are feeling unsure during an argument with them. Encounters with narcissists are extremely draining and can be a lot to take on. However, it is vital to maintain your confidence so that you can present your points clearly and articulately.
The games that narcissists like to play during arguments might very well make you doubt your own self, but this is where you must remain steadfast. Never falter just because a narcissist has begun to throw personal attacks at you. Instead, give him a strong rebuttal and call him out for this unethical behavior. Always look the narcissist in the eye when talking to him, and keep your voice clear of any hesitation. Failing to maintain your confidence can cost you the entire argument. For a great blog on confidence and appreciating yourself go HERE.
Narcissists Are Everywhere
Narcissists are surely tricky, but they are all around us. From studying with us in our class, to where we work, and even in our own homes – narcissists are everywhere. And also though not engaging with them is an excellent way to lead a happy life, sometimes that is just not possible.
In situations like these, it is crucial to hold your ground and process everything rationally. Narcissists love to take our power in a conversation, but by smartly engaging with them, we can defeat them at their own game.